When someone you care about hurts you, you have a choice. You can hold on to anger, you can harbour resentment and you can even consider or have thoughts about of revenge.
Or maybe there is another way, a better way. Maybe, just maybe you could embrace forgiveness and move forward.
Forgiveness is necessary and its essential if we want to grow, if we want to evolve and if we truly want to put the past behind us and stop the anger, the hurt, the resentment.
Holding on to that, to those feelings will, in the long run, hurt you way more than it hurts the person who you perceive to have wronged you.
Most people mistake forgiveness for being ok with what other people, things or circumstances did to us, what they did and how they made us feel – they think that to forgive them it somehow makes it ok to have hurt us.
We think that forgiveness is to set the other person free, that it’s for them.
BUT IT IS NOT!!!
Forgiveness is NEVER for the person or thing that wronged or hurt us, forgiveness is for us, it is to free us, to give US our power back!
Its a choice that we make to stop giving away our energy on top of what was already taken from us.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing but instead, if you let it and practice it, it can bring an inner peace, a feeling of taking your control back which can help you go on with life.
Forgive others, but also ourselves
But perhaps the biggest part of forgiveness is to also forgive ourselves, to allow ourselves to know that it was ok, that whatever part we played, or didn’t play, its all okay.
That’s true power and true freedom.
It IS POTENTIALLY one of the hardest yet most potent and powerful life skills that we can learn in order to live a life that we love and feel happy and secure in.
Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause all kinds of issues within our bodies as we store the anger, sadness and confusion. Meaning that if we don’t release it or if we dwell on the events or situations, resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root within us.
This may then surface as a part of ourselves know as our shadow, it may wound our inner child and can also sometimes transpire as bodily aches and pains. All causing distrust within us, feelings we don’t want, issues for us later down the line of our lives.
You might find yourself being bitter and angry, bringing that feeling into every relationship and new experience you have, becoming so wrapped up in the past that you cant find any pleasure on the present, anxious, depressed and even lonely. It can also cause you to feel at all sorts of odds with your spiritual or religious beliefs.
So, how do you reach forgiveness?
It starts by recognising the value of how forgiving can improve your life. Identify what needs to be healed within you and who needs to be forgiven, including yourself, and what they need to be forgiven for.
Acknowledge your emotions and work to release them.
Stop feeling like a victim and take control of what the situation caused within your life.
And as you let go of the feelings you will find that you are no longer defined by your past and will naturally lead with love and compassion and understanding.
So always remember……..
Forgiveness is FOR YOU not the other person
Forgiving makes you potent and in control
Forgiveness is for anyone who chooses to take their power back
Forgiveness is a skill for the brave not the weak
I talk much more and on a much deeper level about forgiveness in my new course. I know its life changing because I have lived every single module within it – it may well be my most transformative work yet
If you want to go deeper and truly release your past and forgive others AND yourself, I’ve got you.
You can find out more here.